


Subtle Metamorphosis

by worddump



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 10:26:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8485786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worddump/pseuds/worddump
Summary: Human lives are too short to allow for meaningful change, aren't they?





	

Things that change slowly are always the ones last noticed.

It was achingly slow, a faint colouring rather than an overt alteration, a lovely rose tint on their deep purple. He scarcely felt it as he moved between the hues, could not tell the difference in his smile each time it tugged his lips. It was so delicate, just the breeze of a butterfly's wings.

He should've known it was happening.

It was just another part of himself, after all.

He was All of Love.

Misono grew slowly before him, his human span never seeming too short. While some of his siblings may feel that humans were too fragile, too brief to be bothered with, he never once looked at his Eve with such coarseness. He lived in the moments of their lives, tangled himself deeply within the complexities that such punctuated existence promised, enjoyed them fully and wantonly as he was able. Some may mourn the loss but he reveled in each individual story, glad to have experienced them.

His own strength, though he was fair and unassuming, was what carried his Eve on. Through childhood weakness and bouts of bedridden sickness, he stood beside. He took his sanguine delight with ginger butterfly kisses, scarcely a scratch, never more than a taste. He gave more than he took, and it was his absolute pleasure to do so.

Years passed, a full decade, before he asked for more.

It was hard to think back on it, to know the truth of himself, to have his truth be known. It was then he realized the way his own feelings had matured alongside his Eve. In tandem, they spiraled and danced forward, each moving on their own but always in perfect sync. No longer did the boy stand on his feet, moved along in a false waltz, but instead he led, so long as his legs would carry him.

He was a young man now, no longer a child. His heart broke to admit it, to know he would soon dance with others, that he would choose his own tune. In that one, painful moment, he had appealed, had tried to be whatever it was that Misono needed, whatever would keep him close.

His love had been tainted.

They never spoke of that night, nor the scars lightly dotting the flesh of his shoulder and neck. He saw them each time his companion craned to give him space. It ached within him as he approached to drink, featherlight and unobtrusive. He was too much for this life. He deserved none of the forgiveness he was granted.

Still, he beckoned him, a sweet, pure note.

"Lily."

His smell changed as he grew, deeper and richer than before, mixed with new colognes meant for adults. It was a wonderful cocktail each time he landed, man and man-made, a perfect balance if ever he'd known one.

Misono was stronger now, and he felt pale in comparison. He laughed and smiled, boasted and stood up on his own. He felt weaker beside him, though he still towered over him. Perhaps this was his destiny, to become the shadow in the shadows. Perhaps he wouldn't mind.

Life was moving faster.

Any university would take him for both his brain and his bank account. Would he be a lovely decoration on a shelf, kept behind glass on a bouquet of fake flowers? Would they have an apartment together in some large city, eyed by neighbors and gossiped about less he become a manservant? Modern life was so different.

Would Misono pursue others then? Would he find time for relationships, to risk his heart with another? Would he find someone he deserved, someone who made him happy? Would they accept his Servamp? Could he accept them?

For centuries, he'd never pondered these questions, never agonized over their answers. All of Love. Any amount, any intensity, it was all good and valid and wonderful. Why was he so concerned now? Would the love he received not be enough? Would he be unable to venture his own?

Each quiet moment he began to cherish, swallowing the ghosts of his fears with every easy smile. He began to fall into his determined place, that of the servant vampire, of the pet creature aping human form. He craved the moments that he could provide, further between though they'd become. To hold a door, to open a coat, it was all the same to him. Misono's scent would follow as he moved past, each time causing his heart to flutter and sink simultaneously.

He wanted so badly to follow him into this new world of adulthood.

He looked so smart in his bespoke suits, his hair pulled back into a tiny ponytail at the nape of his neck. Would he cut it before he left or would he let it grow more? Would he bring his oversized sweaters or settle into fitted cardigans when the winter came? Would he fit his new life with all new things? Would any of his old self remain?

All of Love, both parent and paramour, caretaker and companion.

He ached for a new life as well.

The dimness of Misono's room was comfortable though it was likely the reason for his thin-rimmed reading glasses. Should he not disturb him? Would he disturb him? There were so many questions now. He felt uncomfortable in a way he'd never experienced before, unsure of who he was or what he should be.

"Lily."

His eyes fluttered, his rumination broken with that single, clear call. Had he looked troubled? Was he becoming a burden? Was this placation?

Misono was not tilting his head or pulling his hair aside. He wasn't even looking to where the vampire stood. Perhaps he was just expected to answer, to be on hand. Perhaps he'd thought too much of himself. Had it been this way for long? Had he failed to see this change?

He felt his lips draw, his mouth smiling though his heart felt cold. He should be happy with this life, to be a part of it in whatever facility his Eve saw fit.

"Yes, Misono?"

The boy did not answer, merely raising a hand toward him, his thin wrist turning his hand palm up in a single fluid movement. He was so beautiful, grown and graceful. It was exquisite torture to be here with him, to see the man he'd become.

What was he asking for?

He hesitated, watching for anything to give him guidance to how to respond. Misono offered nothing, merely waited, fingers fanned expectantly. He moved forward, eyes searching for any clue. He should act normally, shouldn't he? What was normal now?

His fingertips brushed Misono's palm, settling as gently as a butterfly lands. It was a coy gesture, one he was sure would be soundly rebuked. He yearned to be put in his place, to know where he place was. He just needed the explosiveness of youth, the hard lines that Misono drew time and time again. He would stay within them, if only he would draw them once more.

Misono's fingers curled slightly, linking them gently together before tugging the vampire closer. He could see the papers spread across the desk now, a haphazard combination of acceptance letters and brochures, apartments and off-site housing, furniture magazines and expense calculations.

Fears founded, he smiled on, his heart beating quickly as he shut his eyes.

"Will you want your own bed?"

Faster still.

"Of course not, Misono."

He would stay on the shelf, watching this life from a distance, a beautiful sight upon silk petals. He would be what he needed, nothing more.

"Good."

He hummed softly in agreement, though it hurt to lie so brazenly. Hadn't he agreed not to? Perhaps his was his penance. Misono need not know these lies, they were for his own good. This time, they really, truly were. His love was a burden and this time he would not insist on it being carried.

"What do you think of this one?"

His eyes opened slightly, remaining half lidded against the emotions churning behind them. The bed was a deep cherry frame, queen sized with four posts. It looked hand crafted, though the magazine implied otherwise. It was a good mixture of modern and antique, perfect for his Eve.

"I love it."

Misono would look lovely in it, buried in a down comforter, hair spread and spilling across a pillow. He could feel his heart breaking with each fantasy, knowing he would not let them be uttered aloud.

A beautiful queen-sized bed meant for two.

"Good."

How mundane, this exchange. He shouldn't be so grief-stricken.

"We'll have a single bedroom suite, then," Misono continued, spreading a brochure near the magazine, his thumb pressing against his Servamp's hand, making certain he was paying attention. "I'll use the main room as an office."

Should he complain? Should he interrupt and demand his own room? Somewhere he could hide? Somewhere he could lose himself in another? Would he regret not standing up for himself now? Was it already too late?

"I'm excited, Lily," he continued, the faint sound of a smile tinging his words. He was always softer when they were alone, less afraid of the judgment of others, of showing weakness. He was at his best when they were alone. Would that pleasure be someone else's soon?

"I'm happy for you, Misono," he replied, his voice light and buoyant, never betraying the thick sadness filling him.

"For us," Misono corrected, finally turning to look up at his Servamp. His eyes were sharp and smart, his smile equal parts mischievous and boastful, the faint brattiness of his youth still clinging to his expression.

He was unsure how to respond, unsure of what he meant. For us? Was this a cruel taunt? Had he known all along how he'd felt? Was he mocking him now?

Did he not understand? Was he still so naive, were emotions still so alien to him, that he couldn't see the conflict he was enduring? Was he that good at lying to him, even now, despite his promises not to?

Misono canted his head, the slice of porcelain flesh pulsing in the vampire's sight. The hunger for him, both body and blood, was intoxicating. He craved him, to eat him whole as he'd done before, to merge with him so completely as to never lose him again. He was a danger, not to be trusted, and that's why he was not to be allowed this new life.

"Lily."

The call was accompanied by a gentle but firm tug on his hand. He allowed himself to be drawn, blinking in confusion, the practiced call and response changed. Misono's other hand fell to his side, the soft pop of the recline lock sounding as he leaned back in his chair. Still he pulled him, those sharp eyes fluttering closed.

His hue was pinker now.

The realization came at once, the syrupy blackness of his self-loathing erupting into a cloud of butterflies, scattering into the air around them.

It wasn't his change.

It was Misono's.

He caught himself on the desk, arching downward as he'd been drawn, saving them both the indignity of a fall. He was close, too close, and his heart raced like a school girl's. The lives he touched, the lives he watched, he assumed them too short to show meaningful metamorphosis. He was the one who ebbed and surged, who altered his interactions, who felt differently about things.

He thought he was darker now, allowing Misono to spread within him. No, they had allowed each other to spread, to equalize. They were the same now, a rosy shade of violet, devoid of the coldness of lonely twilight and midnight shadows.

Only once had his lips dared against Misono's neck. It had been a terrible time, one he regretted and could never apologize for. His skin was cool to the touch, though he could feel his hair raise at the contact. He could feel his Eve's breath pause, could feel the subtle tensing to brace against the pain. He would not allow that again.

With terrible desire held carefully at bay, his lips traveled up behind his ear to the spot he dabbed his cologne, leaving a trail of passionate kisses in their wake.

Misono's fingers brushed the same spot on Lily's neck, sending an electric rush across the vampire's flesh, raising his hair in kind. He sighed, a wonderful luxurious sound of relief and satisfaction, betraying him here and revealing his apprehension and fears.

He would keep his secrets here, as he always had. He would allow him his weaknesses and his honesty. He would revel in them.

He would allow his own.

He broke away only as Misono turned his head, nuzzling his face away from his neck, yet still holding their faces close. They touched at the forehead and nose, hidden away together by a curtain of pale, golden hair.

"For us," he repeated, the smile on his words.

"For us," Lily agreed, his voice cracking slightly.


End file.
